Sometimes, my theology gets messed up. Lately, I've been finding myself fearing that my whole life will be one of dreary obedience, one difficult struggle after another that molds me more and more into Christ's likeness (so therefore, ultimately for my own good). But that kind of good (the kind of good that says to eat oatmeal because it's healthy for you or makes you get your MMR booster shot) doesn't make me excited about following Jesus.
Of course, God does use difficult circumstances to mold us. But that's not the whole picture. It's also true that God is a God who wants to bless his children with good gifts.
I knew that in my mind, but I wasn't living by that in my heart. So, I started to pray that God would show himself to me in a way that revealed that not only was He my provider, not only was He in control of my future, but that He wanted to bless me with good things.
Remember my post from a few nights ago? The post where I shared how hungry I was for a novel? Well, today, I walked past a shelf I have walked past hundreds of times before. Suddenly, I noticed something new. The top shelf now has a row of books on it. Novels. In English. There are more than 20 of them. Everyone agrees that they weren't there a few days ago. I'm not sure who put them there, or when exactly they showed up. But I do know this. God loves me. Not just in a distant, "I'm doing this for your own good" sort of way. God cares about my desires, not just my needs. He won't always fulfill all my desires. But he will bless me with good gifts. A life of following Jesus won't be one of dreary obedience. There will be joy in the journey and surprises and good things along the way.
"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:11
3 comments:
Aw, neat! I'm about to go explore the book shelf in my new abode and see what lurks there. I realized I brought good books with me, but none that I want to chill out with at the end of a very. long. day. enjoy your finds!
That is a great answer to prayer!
So what are you reading?
I'm on the verge of starting Uncle Tom's Cabin for the book discussion group. (of course I've been 'on the verge' all week).
Love, MOM
oh, I love this! I know what a treasure a good novel in English can be - they're like gold!!! I feel the same way, and so I know the joy you must feel at how God provided those books JUST FOR YOU, JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU and WANTS TO BLESS YOU!! Amen, what a sweet testimony.
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