7 years and counting

Sometime in the past six months, I seem to have lost my voice.  My blog's been lying neglected, and I've been asking myself, "what happened to the stories?"

But every year on this date, the day I left for Costa Rica seven years ago and started this international adventure, I like to blog and look back on the past year and forward to the next, so I'm pushing out of my blogging silence.

I think the reason I've been so quiet is that there have been 2 very big things in my life this past year, and neither of them are the best blog topics.  Learning to love more deeply, to communicate even about the hard things, and to bridge the physical distance between Cristian and I has been one of the main focuses of my year.  And I have loved the process, and feel so much more solid in our relationship than I did a year ago. But I'm a fairly private person- those moments aren't things to share with the world, so no stories there.

The other big thing in my life has been my job.  And again, this is something I love.  I feel so much more at home now at work, doing things I enjoy for something I believe in deeply.  I'm weeks, hopefully, from finishing my first major project at work (completely revising our curriculum) and I've had so many little successes along the way: starting monthly professional development sessions, introducing guided reading into our workshops, working with staff to understand and use more inferential questions.  But yet, somehow, those things don't inspire me to blog.  It's a lot of hard mental work, staring at a computer screen, long discussions with coworkers and observations in the field, before I go back and make some more adaptations.  No clear beginning, middle, and end.  Nothing dramatic to post about.  I don't find the stories in what I do.

I want to find the stories again, though.  If only for myself.  I like to look back on older blog posts, remember times in my life that were joyful and painful and frustrating and exhilarating.  And for the past 7 months, I have nothing but a blank, all the missed opportunities to look for the stories in my life that shape me into who I am.

So, in the next year, I'm hoping I'll find my voice again, see the stories that make up my day.  I think I have some big changes coming my way again.  Maybe not in the next year, but I think the decisions and plans will be in place by the time a year rolls around again. And I don't want this time here to go unrecorded.  I want to remember my triumphs and struggles, and the little every day things that make life in Pana so unique.  Here's to a year full of stories!