How to write a thesis in 4,976 easy steps

1. Determine to make EBSCO host and google scholar your new best friends.
2-36. Spend quality time with them in order to make # 1 happen. 
37. Discover Zotero.
38. Do a happy dance because your citation and note-taking organizational quandary is now solved.
39-57. Read lots of articles and take notes.
58. Finally decide on a research topic.
59-71. Read lots more articles and take notes
72. Change your mind about your research topic
73-84. Read more
85. Come up with a new research topic
86-99. Read more
100. Have a burst of inspiration and write a review of literature
101-3,843. Actually DO the research
3,844. Look at all your data and have a mini heart attack because you don't know what to do with it all.
3,855. Breathe deep
3,856-3,940. Cover your bedroom floor with sheets of colored paper and slips of paper and call it content analysis.
3,940. stare at your computer screen.
3,941. Decide you're going to need to eat regularly in order to write this thing.
3,942. Go grocery shopping for healthy snacks you can eat while staying focused.
3,943. Decide to buy chocolate anyway, because, it's a brain food, right?
3,944. Sit down and start writing.
3,945. Eat a snack
3,946. Write some more.
3,947. Dance to a zumba video to prevent falling asleep at the screen
3,948. Write some more.
3,949. Alternate between feelings of confidence and self doubt.  This is both the best, and the worst piece of writing you've ever done.
3,950. Go for a walk because spring fever
3,951. Write some more
3, 952. Eat another snack
3,952. Write some more
3,953. Do something "urgent", like dusting your desk or finally taking the packaging from those wine glasses you bought 6 months ago to the recycling bin, otherwise known as procrastinating.

3,954-4,451. Repeat steps 3,944-3,953 in what feels like an infinite loop.
4,452. Put yourself under house arrest from 9am-5pm everyday until your draft is done.
4,453. Feel guilty any time you do something not thesis related from 9-5.
4,454. Try not to feel guilty about relaxing and socializing after 5.
4, 455. Finish your first draft!
4,456-4,974. Edit, revise, present, repeat
4,975. Send the final product off to be printed
4,976. Congratulations.  You've written a thesis.