Welcome to my neighborhood

Today was Colombian Independence day, and it also happened to be one of the most beautiful days in weeks.  We decided to walk up to Monserrate to enjoy the holiday.  I took this picture on the way up of my part of town.  I didn't label the cemetery, but it's across the street from the park.  Also, Palo Quemao, the big market, is across the street from the mall. (Click on the photo to open it to a larger size in a new window)

And, some bonus photos, just because

Monserrate with a Colombian flag bunting for Independence day

According to my sources, these beautiful flowers are also extremely dangerous. 

Amazing the colors on this one

A gorgeous view of the city nestled in the mountains

Another view of the city.

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The myth of the wicked heart

I'm a logical, rational person.  I make decisions with my mind.  I distrust my emotions.  After all, the heart is wicked, isn't it?  "Follow your heart", "listen to your heart", all new age philosophies that will lead us astray, because our deceitful heart can't be trusted.  

My mind, on the other hand, logic- that can be trusted.  

Recently though, mind and heart came into conflict about something, and I found myself wondering if I could always trust my rational mind.  Maybe it could lead me astray too.  And maybe my heart wasn't so far off base after all.  So, I decided to see what the Bible actually says.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV)

Sounds clear enough.  The heart is deceitful and wicked.  Case closed.  

Until I opened a concordance with word definitions.  The word translated heart in this verse, הַלֵּ֛ב (lev), is most commonly translated heart.  But, it can also be translated as mind, will, or intellect. Apparently, the modern Western division of the heart as the seat of the emotions and the mind as the seat of the intellect isn't quite the same as ancient Hebrew thought.  It seems like "inner man" (the first definition given of the word) might be more accurate.  Or, in our trichotomous understanding of humanity, the soul.  

So, it's not just my heart or emotions that are deceitful.  It's my entire inner-being.  My feelings AND my thoughts.  

And then there's that little phrase "desperately wicked".  That's some strong language.  And a completely off base translation.  King James is one of the few translations that chose the word wicked there.  Every other time it occurs, it is translated as sick or incurable.  There's a pretty big difference between sick and wicked.

So, it seems to me that my original understanding of this verse is completely inaccurate.  

In reality, I have a desperately sick, deceitful inner-being.  Everything that makes me me, is incurably warped by the fall.

Except, it isn't incurable.  There's redemption.

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.  (Ezekiel 36:26)

Guess what word is translated heart in this passage?  That's right, lev, the same as in Jeremiah.  God promised his people a new heart.  A heart of flesh.  He will renew our inner-being.

That same promise is reiterated in the New Testament.  

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

My heart has been renewed.  I am a new creation.  I still struggle with sin, yes.  But, my heart is not desperately wicked, or even incurably sick.  The great physician has made all things new.  

I'm not suggesting that we all go and do "whatever our heart desires".  Emotions are fickle, affected by externals.  But neither is it fair to say mind=good, emotions=bad.  God has given us a heart and mind, both of which need to be submitted to Christ's lordship, and both of which he can use to guide us.  My heart is not the enemy within.  It's more like a friend whose counsel I would listen to and weigh along with everything else I was taking into consideration.

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4  

Three years. . .

Three years ago, I left home to start my DTS.

Three years far from family.
Three years developing friendships that feel like family.

Three years without peaches and blueberries.
Three years of mangos and passion fruit.

Three years without a salary.
Three years of seeing God's faithful provision.

Three years without seasons.
Three years of constant spring.

Three years without library visits.
Three years of deepening bilingualism.

Three years of more tears and loneliness than I have known before.
Three years of  greater community than I ever experienced before.

Three years of never being enough.
Three years of learning God is always enough.


This past year has been a roller coaster- from July of last year, I have experienced some of the months of deepest contentment in my life as I could see how God brought me here, planted me here, and was using me.  I have also lived some of the months of deepest discouragement, as I question my effectiveness, God's role in the universe, and my next steps.  Nothing "new" has happened this year; for an entire year I've lived in the same house, had the same job.  But yet, it's been a year of deep refining.  I'm still in the process, and it's painful. I think there are changes coming up around the corner, but the corner may be farther away than I imagine.

I wonder where next year will find me.