Will I not act?

Remember this post from last month? The post where I was so discouraged? God is so tender in the way he deals with us. He knows I needed to be encouraged, still need encouragement, and he faithfully sends it my way.

Just after I posted, my pastor here preached from Ezekiel 37 , the passage about the valley of dry bones. Ezekiel was a lot like me. "And he said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” And I answered, “O Lord GOD, you know.” (verse 3) He didn't want to tell God no, it was impossible, and yet, he didn't quite have faith enough to say yes. But God is a God of hope. "Then he said to me, “Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. Behold, they say, ‘Our bones are dried up, and our hope is lost. . .’ Therefore prophesy, and say to them, Thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I will open your graves and raise you from your graves. . . .And you shall know that I am the LORD . . . And I will put my Spirit within you, and you shall live” (verses 11-14).

God spoke to me- I can make them live again too. There is no circumstance too hopeless for me.

Then, reading through the book of Isaiah, I found it again and again. "For My own sake, for My own sake, I will act; For how can My name be profaned? And My glory I will not give to another" (Isaiah 48:11)

Last Friday, we went to a Hillsong concert. Surrounded by thousands of Christians, I listened again to the story of Gideon. "And Gideon went out in the strength that he had" said the speaker. "the strength that he had". The words resonated in my heart. Gideon wasn't perfect, he didn't have it all together, he was frightened and doubted himself. But God used him to bring about change and accomplish his will. Again, I was encouraged- God can use me in my weakness.

But then, as we sang, I was confronted with something. God whispered to me, 'this isn't just about me encouraging you. This is truth'.

You see, I had stayed stuck with the same feelings as Ezekiel- "only you know Lord". Could he act, could he change my students and their families? Without a doubt. But was I believing that he would? Not truly. But that evening, thanking God for encouraging me yet again, God pushed me to look at my own lack of faith. "would I say it just to encourage you? This is true of who I am. Will I not act?" was what sunk into my heart.

So, here I am. "Will I not act?" God asked me. So, I wait. Trying to wait in faith. I want to see God in action, want to see his mighty power. Maybe it will continue to come slowly, unfolding step by step. Maybe there will never be one moment when I say "ah, finally, God showed up!". Because, honestly, life is full of miraculous moments we don't even recognize. And God is always here. But, I have his promise- he not only can act. He will. He is. He is here.

I sing the mighty power of God

I sing the mighty power of God that made the mountains rise,

that spread the flowing seas abroad and built the lofty skies.

I sing the wisdom that ordains the sun to rule by day;

the moon shines forth at his command and all the stars obey.

I've been able to take two day trips with friends outside of Bogotá lately. I live in such a beautiful country.

out on the lake by Guatavita

mid-afternoon in Guatavita

The sound of water running over rocks, fresh mountain air, and even being out in the drizzle all make my soul rest.

fog in the mountains near La Vega

I didn't realize how much I miss the sound of running water until I was here.

culture quandaries

I point with my lips, chop my vegetables super small, waggle my finger back and forth when I don't want something, raise my index finger instead of my hand, motion people to come with a downward motion of my hand, express surprise by saying "ush", pleasure by saying "uhy" and doubt by saying "hm". And I whine.

They weren't, mostly, intentional adaptations to the culture. I've just come to realize they are things I've come to do at some point over the last few years, ways I blend in with those around me.

The whining is what most caught me by surprise. It isn't even something I've really been consciously aware of, until I realized that the way I ask people to do things is completely different in English and Spanish. I was sitting with English speaking friends, chatting over milkshakes about the Hillsong concert we'd been given free tickets to and who all was going. "Peter's going too", I said, "though I had to convince him. I really am whinier in Spanish", I said as the realization hit me. "Say what you said to him, but say it in English" one of the girls suggested. So I did- "Peter, you should really come. Your dad wants you to, and I do too, and the kids will be really happy you're there". Not the words so much, but the tone of voice, had us all laughing. I sounded ridiculous in English. In Spanish though, it sounded normal. And I'm still trying to figure out what I should do with that. . . Is whining culturally appropriate, and therefore expected (and by extension ok), or is whining always obnoxious?